9-15-09

My life seems to be a a weird place right now. There aren't many constants. Everything is always changing and evolving. Thoughts are always streaming through my mind. I keep thinking of the last time i was with him. The last time he held me and told me I looked so sexy and how he missed me. He was still not truly mine. He was some other girl's a nameless girl i couldn't even picture. Though ironically, her picture was in his phone. He told me that I was the best and he missed me. It had been 6 months since we've seen each other. But i couldn't help but wonder did he miss the sex or me? It was so hard to let him go. He is gorgeous and everything i would want in a guy physically but his personality and his values were seriously lacking. In a fantasy world, I would be his girl. Unofficial or Official.. just didn't matter. What mattered was that i was with him and he wanted me. He wanted me in his life but I couldn't be his girl. It would be beneath me. I didn't deserve to be with a guy who would cheat on me.

side note : I LOVE.... that episode of Sex and the City where Miranda fakes a sonogram =) Her face is priceless.